Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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