found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
