He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize