i was born a porn star she said
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
