I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
