i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize