im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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