she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
