she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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