he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
