They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
it was like eating out sand paper
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
