I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
ugly people sure do ruin things
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So squirting runs in the family.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
