she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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