I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Randomize
