we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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