Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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