Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
