I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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