You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize