dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Randomize
