come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
