:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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