what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize