if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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