Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
