last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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