so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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