Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize