I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize