dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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