why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
