he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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