at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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