ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
