i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
