i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
