Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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