I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
