Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.

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(253): View more from Washington

Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....

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(678): View more from Georgia

He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.

Fav 2 2828 966
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(707): View more from California

Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god

Fav 9 1811 1712
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(419): View more from Ohio

Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.

Fav 14 1656 739
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(613): View more from Ontario

What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??

Fav 24 952 1831
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(201): View more from New Jersey

Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?

Fav 1 637 595
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(310): View more from California

I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”

(310): View more from California

My divorce is turning into a porn script

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