Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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