You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
