gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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