i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
