I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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