Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
We have so much sex to catch up on
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize