Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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