so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
