plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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