He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
