they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
