she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
