the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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