Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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