Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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