we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize