420 ftw
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
