This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
