i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
