i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
