Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I could make wine with my vomit
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
ttyl tear gas
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
