Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
