FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
