I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
