I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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