they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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