For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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