I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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