You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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