Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
