so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize