Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
