Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
There are leaves in my underwear?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
