uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I love you. Go after that dick
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
