Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
