Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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