Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
