Where is the hickey?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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