i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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