You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
cat food counts as protein by the way
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
