I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
