You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
