Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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