he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
