On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
from now on my penis is your penis
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have fence marks all over my body
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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